Teatro Triste del Clown

I don’t think it is possible to overstress the importance of a healthy group dynamic when forming your new improv troupe.

If the group is unable to work together, it will, inevitably, fall apart. Perhaps this will be a slow, miserable disintegration or this will be a fast, destructive explosion. Either way, your group is gone, and all because you didn’t manage your personalities better.

Different people will tell you to achieve this dynamic in different ways. My old collegue, Anthony Gross, would argue that the best way to accomplish this was through brainwashing the players. While there is, naturally, a certain “religious cult” style attraction to this sort of idea, I believe that brainwashing hampers the natural creativity of the players. Plus, it is expensive.

Thus, I have developed several different approachs to managing the personell in my troupe.

I have found that one of the best ways to manage your “peeps” is to make sure that you only cast brown nosing sycophants. Most of them will be so eager for your approval, that they will crawl through broken glass (or, worse, over each other’s sweaty bodies) to please you. One of the best line ups of Sad Clown Rep was for 1984’s all sycophant review, “Yes, and Whatever Else You Say, Mr. Michaels!” Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels sued, claiming that he owned the rights to his last name. According to the Reagan-era courts, he did. This is why I spent a great deal of time performing in the 1980’s using the psuedonym “Becky Silverman.”

Anyhow, the drawback to sycophants is that they tend to bring out the worst in you.

“Hey, should I agree to do this Sitcom?”

“Yes, Mr. Michaels!”

“It would be pretty funny if I pretended to be a woman for ten years.”

“Sure thing, Joey!”

“Why I don’t I develop a horrible, debilitating drug habit?”

“You sure should do that, oh guru mine!”

As you can see for these actual transcripts of conversations I had with a sycophant, it is really his fault that I spiraled into a haze of heroin, cocaine and transvestisism. Not that I am equating being a transvestite with being a heroin addict - just that the American Republican party never cared about the drug habit, but kicked me out as soon as I started wearing tasteful dresses. Some priorities!

Drugs and alchohol are another useful way of helping to create a group dynamic. Unfortunately, my last heavy drinking troupe all hooked up with each other and had babies. Strong drink will do that to couples.

Recently, I took to working with people I was already friends with. Unfortunately, this led to some serious friendship problems. Jay Grinnell totally freaked out on us, Anthony Gross eventually went all fascist, people died, and (most recently) my long-time girl friday, Tiffany Dylan O’Shaugnessy, left me over a disagreement over the use of the phrase “colostomy bag.”

Let me make it clear that I have never had a colostomy bag. Ever. I don’t even know what one looks like.

Anyhow, I digress.

I offer this proverb though: “He who works with his friends will soon have no friends to work with.”

Thus, I have finally hit upon what I think will be the best way of achieving group dynamics. Specifically, I am never going to allow any members of the group to meet except during performances, and even then they won’t be allowed to use their real names. With no relationship offstage and my intense professional standard training, they will be able to get along splendidly.

I will be auditioning for this new Sad Clown Rep soon! Watch for audition announcements!

Feel free to write me if you have any questions about life, improv or auditioning for the rep!