Teatro Triste del Clown

Well, my point is that there is almost nothing you like more than gelato.

For me, the one thing I do like more is television. Man, I watch a ton of television.

Thus, I was very excited today when TV Guide released a list of the top 50 TV shows ever. That is, until I read the list.

First off, there are a number of glaring oversights. We’ll get to that in a moment. Second, some of the shows that made the cut basically, if I can use an industry term here, suck ass. Unwiped ass.

Since everyone knows TV wasn’t perfected until “Welcome Back, Kotter,” the inclusion of anything from before 1975 is ridiculous. Especially the black and white stuff. Once, I was caught in a hotel room for three months with a TV that only got one channel. This channel showed I Love Lucy morning, noon and night. I finally invested in a pack of dry erase markers so that I could colorize the show directly on my screen just so I could stand it.

Another thing that blows my mind is that any news shows made the cut. What is so great about showing news on TV? News is news. As long as they don’t report anything that upsets me, they are doing a good job, but they don’t deserve any sort of “best of” recognition because, in essence, an armadillo with a camera strapped to it’s back could do just as effective a job filming news as anyone else. Jeez.

Also, as much as I love David Letterman, talk shows are lame. If I could just watch 30 minutes of his bits without any celebrity glad-handing, I would want to put him in the top 2. As it is, any show that has allowed Regis Philben more airtime is automatically knocked off my list.

Thus, after much thought, I would like to propose that we here, the Unlovely family, create a stronger, better list of the top shows of television. You may feel free to leave your list in the comment section, or send it to me, and I will try and make sure to compile it into a bigger list sometime by the end of the week.

In the meantime, in no particular order, here are my personal top ten American TV shows of all time. I have not listed any British or Canadian TV shows, because then there wouldn’t be room for any American shows.

Honorable Mention: Farscape. Mmmmm. Chiana.

Next: Spiderman, Spiderman, doing the things a particle can