American Religions
Joey Michaels on June 9th, 2004I have a confession to make right now. I think most religions founded on American soil by non-native Americans started as scams.
This does not mean that they don’t currently have value to the people who believe in them. Indeed, many of the nicest people I know are Mormon for example. None of the nicest people I know are Scientologist, but let’s assume that there is a nice one out there somewhere.
Since the creation of most American religions is a matter of historical record, it is embarassingly clear to non-believers that the believers have been seriously duped. Let’s face it - Joseph Smith may have been after the chance to marry nine or ten women as opposed to have been interested in spiritual matters. That is my opinion and I am sticking to it.
Here’s the sticky part, though. Since we know the origins of American religions - Scientology was started on a bet by L. Ron Hubbard, for example - don’t disuade their followers from believing, it becomes alarmingly clear that, perhaps, the true origins of nearly all religions could very well be seen as bunk.
I mean, 2000 years from now, we will be so removed for the reality of paranoid, homphobic, unstable L. Ron Hubbard that he might seem to be more real as he is described in the Scientology courses than in historical records. Look at Richard III of
Interesting stories and true believers can bend reality to their will. This has led me to do some thinking about starting my own Interweb religion, as yet unnamed. I think I can make a ton of money and get mindless followers to do my bidding. This is an even better idea than my idea to cross-breed people with downs syndrome to make an unstoppable army of orcs.