Teatro Triste del Clown

I think it is safe to say that, in the United States of America, rape has become an acceptable way of punishing criminals.

Indeed, if you listen to people rant when a criminal is caught or convicted, the conversation typically moves immediately to hoping that they share their cell room with a 300 pounds rapist named Tyrone. They laugh with glee at the thought of the alleged criminal being ass raped by an enormous, angry convict.

I am sure you’ll agree that this is a sign that rape has become a standard part of a conviction for a crime. We, as a society, condone it.

There is no question but that Americans, as a whole, condone the death penalty. We’ve made moves, however, to make the death penalty something that is not cruel and inhuman. We have made no effort to do this to rape.

Thus, I propose that we do what we can to develop a more humane rape policy, one that we can all agree serves the very vital function of making sure that every male prisoner is ass raped, but also one that doesn’t cause permanent damage or spread disease.

Specifically, I propose that we appoint a number of prison guards (and prisoners that have earned special privlidges) as official State Rapists. When a new prisoner is brought to a jail, these official State Rapists will perform the cavity search on them and, immediately, rape them on video in front of a bunch of people - ideally the victims and their families.

The judge can specify how many times the prisoner is to be raped - just like they choose how many years in prison they receive. The prisoner will be bought to the raping room once a week until they have completed their sentence.

We can finance this by filming the rapes and selling them on DVD for $29.99 a piece. Can you imagine how many copies of “Scott Peterson Prison Gang Rape” would sell? The prison system could finance itself for years.

To keep it healthy, condom use would be strictly enforced. To ensure the saftey of the prisoners, they would be tied down to a soft piece of furniture.

Yes, I think this would be a more humane way to rape prisoners - and would make some money as well.